Some of the jokes and pictures
I've sent to the Steve-o

New United Nations Proposal 

 A resolution was recently proposed in the UN to form a new union between the Turks and Kurds.   This would create  a new nation along the Iraq border to be called the Turds.   France vetoed the measure citing historical rights to the name.

The Truth About Scotsmen's Kilts

Leno

·  I tell you one good thing about this SARS….there’s now no waiting at Asian massage parlors.

·  Today Iraq’s oil minister surrendered to U.S. Forces. This came as great news to our American oil minister, Dick Cheney.

·  President Bush said he’s worried that Iraq could be overrun by religious fundamentalists. Hey, if it’s good enough for the Republican Party, it’s good enough for Iraq.

·  Later this week, president Bush is coming out here to California. Boy he thought the government of Iraq was screwed up, wait ‘til he sees the government of this place! Wait ‘til he gets to Sacramento!

·  Hustler magazine’s Larry Flynt is reportedly offering $1 million for a videotape of first daughter Barbara Bush nude at a party at Yale. How embarrassing is this for the first family – you spend 21 years trying to raise your daughter right and she grows up to be a Democrat.

·  For those of you not familiar with this holiday, Cinco de Mayo celebrates a victory of Mexico over French army in 1862. Beating the French, who hasn’t done that? I think the piñatas put up more fight than the French.

 

Desert Island

On a chain of beautiful deserted Islands in the middle of nowhere, the following people are stranded, each on their own island:

  1. Two Italian men and one Italian woman
  2. Two French men and one French woman
  3. Two German men and one German woman
  4. Two Greek Men and one Greek woman
  5. Two English men and one English woman
  6. Two Bulgarian men and one Bulgarian woman
  7. Two Japanese men and one Japanese woman
  8. Two Chinese men and one Chinese woman
  9. Two Irish men and one Irish woman
  10. Two American men and one American woman

One month later on these absolutely stunning deserted islands in the middle of nowhere, the following things have occurred:

  1. One Italian man killed the other for the Italian woman.
  2. The two French men and the French woman are living happily together in a menage a trois.
  3. The two German men have a strict weekly schedule of alternating visits with the German woman.
  4. The two Greek men are sleeping with each other and the Greek woman is cleaning and cooking for them.
  5. The two English men are still waiting for someone to introduce them to the English woman.
  6. The two Bulgarian men took one look at the Bulgarian woman and died swimming to the English Island.
  7. The two Japanese men faxed Tokyo and are awaiting instructions.
  8. The two Chinese men have set up a pharmacy, liquor store, restaurant and laundry, and have gotten the woman pregnant in order to supply employees for their stores.
  9. The two Irish men divided the island into North and South and set up a distillery. They do not remember if sex is in the picture because it gets somewhat foggy after a couple of liters of coconut whiskey. However, they're satisfied because the English aren't having fun.
  10. The two American men are contemplating suicide, because the American woman will not shut up and complains relentlessly about her body, the true nature of feminism, what the sun is doing to her skin and hair, how she can do anything they can do, the necessity of fulfillment, the equal division of household chores, how sand and palm trees make her look fat, how her last boyfriend respected her opinion and treated her nicer than they do, how her relationship with her mother is the cause of her problems, and why didn't they bring a cell phone so she could call 911 and get them all rescued.
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